NaNoWriMo Rough Draft

Originally Posted Elsewhere November 6, 2007

As I sit here, sipping my coffee and listening to all the conversations around me I wonder what on Earth I am doing here. Its not like I have not like I don’t have a life or anything. I do , I really do.

“Where are you at?” “Huh, what? Oh, I’m just thinking,” I say to Cass. “What in the world are you thinking now?” “I don‘t know…” I can‘t possibly tell her what I really don‘t know myself.

“Bullshit! You know very well what your thinking. Your thinking about Him again, aren’t you?”

Like I said, I can’t possibly lie to her.

“Well if you knew what I was thinking about, why did you even bother asking?” “Because, you need to admit it to yourself and say it out loud. Besides, if you keep moping around like this people are going to seriously start thinking there is something really wrong with you.”

I guess she has a point though. Cass always has a point. For being the younger one of the two of us, she keeps trying to mother me. Perhaps it’s the fact that she’s the one of us who is about to be a mother. I have to admit the role reversal feels strange. Especially considering I’ve been her support for years. I just wish I would have been able to have shielded her from some of the things she’s been through.

“How’s Li’l Adria doing?” I ask with a smile hoping to change the subject. “She’s fine. She’s going to end up a kick boxer or gymnast the way she keeps going.” Good, Cass looks like she’s starting to relax again.

“Why do you keep changing the subject when any of us show some concern?” Uh-oh, busted again. “Wes, I have no clue what your talking about.” “ Quit lying to us. We know there’s something wrong.” Good ol’ Wes, straight to the point as ever. “I thought I told you two to stay out of my head. Heck, there’s barely enough room in here for me. Cass you should know better its not good for the baby!” “Heh, she’s probably the worst of us. You know you can’t keep her out. She’s worried about you too.” “Thanks Cass, make me feel bad.” “Well, we all love you, Kisa. So, you might as well come out with it. We‘ll call Rory and have him come down here if you don‘t.”

Oh, boy. I guess there’s no keeping things to oneself with this crowd. Might as well… “Okay, okay already. Since you guys won’t leave me alone until I do. I’m worried. I haven’t heard from ____ in awhile. I know he’s in Iraq and he’s probably on a mission but I’m still worried. I can’t help it. I love the bastard.”

“Sweetie, I’m sure he’s fine. You know you’d be one of the first one to know if something were to happen.” Concern still clung to Cass’ voice. “I know.”

Of course I knew. His mom and I ended up becoming great friends when he decided to join. He’s one of my closest friends yet he chose to make the decision without talking to me. He made the decision without talking to anyone. I guess I’m still a little bit bitter about that. But, anytime his mom gets word from him, I get a phone call. What worries me is she hasn’t heard from him in a while.. It seems like its been too long since either of us has heard anything.

“Anyway, its not like you too were dating or anything. Ouch! Cass what was that for?? Its true though!” Cass had kicked Wes in the shin under the table. And if looks could kill he‘d be at the very least maimed. “I know that, you know that, and she knows that. It doesn’t mean you have to be so blunt about it. You could have been a lot nicer bringing it up!” “Bring what up?”

What are they thinking. I mean all of us are really good at reading each other and other people but I don’t like to. I can’t stand the headaches that come with doing it. And I’m sure there’s some ethical reason why its wrong to peak into others’ minds.

“Kisa, we think that you should get out and see people.” “But I am out seeing people! I’m out seeing you guys!” Cass rolled her eyes. “That’s totally not what we meant and you know it. You can’t sit around here moping and waiting for something that may never come, may never happen!” I start to slide down in my seat because what she says hits hard.

“Do you guys need refills on those coffees?” Lindsay calls from over by the coffee pots “Only if mine is decaf” Cass calls out. “Yes, please. Some more coffee would be lovely” I chime in. “Its not like you two haven’t drank enough to flood Rhode Island already.” “Then, thank god we’re not in Rhode Island!” I retort. Lindsay, Cass and I bust up laughing. “You guys are just too entertaining.” “See we knew there was a reason you and the other waitresses let us keep coming back.” “I always thought it was because we’re regulars and the fact that we bus our own tables when they’re busy.”